The End of the Beginning Part One

(More stories and pictures coming soon in Part Two)

Writing on days like today is always a challenge. There are so many wonderfully complex and intertwining ideas and memories to reflect on that it’s difficult to focus my mind and winnow away at the images of recent history that flood my mind. Flashing red and blue lights interlace with our fog machines smog. It sifts across the lights and the hushed murmurs of a thousand people drift toward anxious ears as we wait for our show to begin. The echoes of prior performances, ghosts of pervious casts enriching our harmonies, personal history and memory engulf my senses as I sing, watch and am absorbed into the fabric of this culture. 

The Tour Kicks off...

Our last host family day; We’re watching “City Lax” a documentary about an inner city Denver Lacrosse team—these youth are the shadows of the boys from Boston I befriended—their faces and laughter haunt my minds eye as the television screen flickers before me—I am lost in transition from film to memory and back to the present. In the face of each boy, in their stories, smiles and laughter I see the faces of the boys I worked with… my boys. 

My dreams flash before my eyes in the midst of the film they enlarge before me and then suddenly shrink, attainable-- from creating the theatre program, a space for them to be free to simply finding a way to make a difference for a few kids, a few friends today and tomorrow—it grows, not just a theatre but a performing arts center and a sports program… Then suddenly my path and the reason for UWP seems a little clearer. I’m not here to perform—I never have been although that’s been a perk—I’m here to help my cast mates make an impact, for them to discover their voices on stage and during our community impact projects. Those dreams are already underway. Hopefully I will add to my physical skills set— if I’m ever going to create my own program I will need to learn how to create and manage the lights for a theatre, how to recruit donors, do PR/external relations. But as always—those skills are secondary to sharing and helping those around me in their experience. Only in this will I ever find true satisfaction.

We gather in small groups, exchanging hugs, hand shakes, tight squeezes, whispered words of wisdom and encouragement. Fist bumps intermingle with high fives as we huddle in circles and interlock hands—rock star fingers interlace, whispered chants build in tempo and then the lights flash and our concert tour kicks off.

In some ways it’s just another show, I’m on stage performing for alumni, our host families and friends sharing my love of music… and yet for these families and with these people surrounding me, this cast, it’s bigger than the music. I think Rainer Maria Rilke has it right here… “No man can… explain those feelings that in their depths have a life of their own. Even the best writers can err in their expressions when they are asked to interpret the faintest of impulses and that which is beyond words.” I’ve looked out into the audience and connected with family and friends before. I’m no stranger the post show adrenalin rush. Yet somehow, when I saw the smile on Paige’s face and the light in Eric’s eyes in the audience and after the show. It was different. I can’t explain it. I just don’t have the words.

“I have never experienced such an amazing feeling...  [I] Performed for a thousand people, inspired a 5 year old girl, [generated] a smile on a boys face [as] he followed my steps for a dance, cried while saying bye to staging staff, smiled when I heard how great our show was, cried happy tears during green room and felt… uplifted to know that I am finally… doing what I was meant to do! ♥ Cast A'11!” Alanda-Joy is from Canada and is in my home team. We’ve shared frustrations during staging and now the joy of performing. That is why I am here.

Charlotte Lellkvist is from Sweden. Tall like a willow tree with raven red hair. She’s an angel punk rocker. I’ll leave you with this thought. “I am in love with my talented, wonderful, awesome cast. Yesterday was amazing… [There are] so many emotions... I am gonna miss our wonderful staging staff [and host families...] We did it guys, our first show. I am so proud of us. Now let's hit the road to Florida!”

My next post will be from another city… love it up.